Pre-marital/marital counseling orientation guide:

1)      The value of pre-marital or marital counseling:

·         Pre-marital/marital counseling affords potential spouses or spouses an opportunity to share & discover their concerns in a safe & objective environment

·         Pre-marital/marital counseling affords potential spouses or spouses an opportunity to assess or think through their readiness for marriage

·         Pre-marital/marital counseling affords potential spouses or spouses an opportunity to develop marriage skills

2)      The Walkers vow for carrying out pre-marital or marital counseling:

·         Accountability

·         Confidentiality

·         Encouragement

·         Marriage accountability team (MAT) – couple to couple

·         No condemnation of you & no condonement of sin of any kind

·         Objective mediation/negotiation/listening ears

·         Partner accountability team (PAT) – individual to individual

3)      The pre-marital/marriage impact (focal) areas (MIA’s) to be considered (as needed):

·         The impact on the “institution” of marriage itself

·         The impact on new spouse (i.e. spirit, soul, & body)

·         The impact on your “Christian” witness

·         The impact on the children and/or future children

·         The impact on your parenting

·         The impact on the “extended or intended” family & friends

·         The impact on the church

·         The impact on your faith

·         The impact on your “relational” ability (the challenge on your intra & interpersonal skills/abilities)

·         The impact on your past, present, & future

·         The impact on your ministry

·         The impact on your reputation

·         The impact on the culture at large or that of your family

·         The impact on your work/career

·         The impact on your purpose, plans, or destiny

·         The impact on your decisions and/or decision making ability

·         The impact on your favor (See Prov. 18:22)

·         The impact on intimacy

·         The impact of addiction

·         The impact on your expectations

·         The impact on household domestics

·         The impact on your ability to “die” to self (be sacrificial less self oriented)

·         The impact on your ability to forgive & trust

·         The impact of divorce

·         The impact on the Lord

4)      The pre-marital or marital questionnaire:

·         Why do you believe your courtship should enter into a marriage covenant?

·         On a scale of 1-10, what would you rate the importance of the institution of marriage? Why?

·         What are your expectations as your contemplate entering into this marriage?

·         What do you see or understand your role & responsibility to be in this marriage?

·         What would do you feel it would take from you to get your marriage to meet that expectations?

·         What do you feel it would take from your fiancee’ to meet that expectations?

·         Are you willing to work with you fiancee’ to meet that expectations(s)?

·         More importantly, are you willing to work with the Lord to meet His expectations for your marriage?

      PLEASE BE HONEST (NOT BRUTAL) WHEN ANSWERING THESE QUESTIONS